


I feel like I win when I lose

by Ninhaoma



Series: A treaty on the heartiness of citrus fruits [5]
Category: One Piece
Genre: ABBA, Bad Puns, Eurovision Song Contest 1974, F/M, Karaoke, Puns & Word Play, cheesy puns galore, i'm not even sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:14:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25228918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninhaoma/pseuds/Ninhaoma
Summary: Having defeated two yonko, the three supernova crews gather for a celebration. Nothing can surely go wrong at a party with three of the most feared men on the seas in attendance…
Relationships: Nami/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Series: A treaty on the heartiness of citrus fruits [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1751857
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	I feel like I win when I lose

She screamed, shielding her face with her arms, trying to make herself as small as possible as the large sword whistled through the air towards her head.

Her clima-tact lay useless outside her reach, kicked away by a passing boot - friend or foe, it was hard to say in the heat of the battle.

The curved smile of the blade came closer and closer, metallic teeth reflecting the chaos of the mêlée as a shrill voice cut through the noise.

"She's mine! I'll have your head now, you little thief, give me back–"

Nami shot up in bed, her heart pounding and hair sweat drenched and plastered to her neck.

The soft creaks of the _Thousand Sunny_ surrounded her in the darkness, the ship settling in the calm of night. The slight jerks every now and then reminded her that they were safe; they were anchored in a harbour, they were with friends, there's nothing to fear here.

Except surprise attacks by the marines or a yonko or some upstart who thought they could take on a combined two supernova crews.

It was Robin's turn on the watch and the utter loneliness and silence of their cabin pressed down on the navigator like a blanket as she hugged her knees to her chest, focusing on her breathing. In. Out. In and out. In. Out.

It was just a dream.

It was just a dream and she would never have to see _that_ again, would never have to fear _her_ again, would never need to always be on the lookout for a brightly coloured ship, jumping on waves made of candy...

Nami let her forehead rest on her knees as her breathing slowly evened out, closing her eyes. She should try to get some more sleep; tomorrow was bound to be a busy day.

-_-_-

A slight breeze ruffled Nami's hair as she snoozed on the deck in the early afternoon. Her efforts to sleep well in the night had mostly been in vain and as they had grand plans for the evening, she thought it prudent to try to get some rest in before that.

”Nami!”

The calm surrounding the _Sunny_ was breached by a bright yellow submarine rising from the depths. Shachi and Penguin were already on deck, waving at her, as Jean Bart and Clione readied the ship for mooring beside the carrack.

“Wotcher! Had a safe trip?” she asked, shading her eyes with one hand as more Heart Pirates emerged.

“Could have been safer,” Ikkaku groused, tying her hair back. “Captain didn’t want to miss tonight, so we had to make a few quick turns that–“

“Oi, oi,” a drawling voice interrupted as the captain in question appeared, eyes flashing towards the navigator before narrowing on his crew. “Don’t you have things to do before you start fraternising with the enemy?”

“Aye aye!” rang out as the Heart pirates scattered to their tasks, leaving their Captain alone on deck.

Nami raised an eyebrow.

“The enemy? I’m insulted.”

“Alliance or not, One Piece is still to be found.”

“Well, tonight you’d better behave, or Kid and Luffy will have your head. It’s not every day that three upstart crews can claim victory over two yonko.”

An answering smirk flashed across the expanse of water between the rival ships.

“True. I’d better see to our part of the arrangements. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find good-quality sake in these parts.”

Nami shook her head as the dark doctor disappeared, only to be replaced by a small rock. Mysterious man, that one. Cute, but mysterious.

The rest of the day flew by as preparations for the feast demanded all attention. Food had to be carted around, barrels of beer and sake gathered, entertainment set up. Franky had even managed to finagle something he called an ‘empty orchestra’, whatever that meant.

Her last task was to ensure that the weather would behave.

“Will you both promise to be good?” she asked, eyebrow raised and hands on her hips.

A small storm cloud nodded, happily munching on a Weather Egg. A ball of fire, however, was looking sulky as it hovered near the ceiling.

“Prometheus…”

“I’m hungry!” he suddenly exclaimed, looking peeved, as small flames danced around his form. “Why can’t I have a taste of the Adam wood…”

“You can’t eat the _Sunny_ , you know that. Wasn’t there anything good in the woodshed out back?”

“Nothing, just boring old firewood. There’s nothing here and I’m so, so hungry…”

“Well, if you promise to behave, I have a gift for you,” Nami said as she rummaged around in her bag. “Here; Marco left some phoenix feathers for you. Be a good boy, and you can have them later.”

Prometheus seemed to grow brighter at the sight of the blue flames in a small glass jar.

“Really?”

“Yes, really. Now, both be good and ensure that the weather is nice during the whole party.”

“Yes!” the homies chorused in unison.

And they did their job admirably, keeping a clear sky as the celebrations started. The party was in full swing before long, the Kid and Straw Hat pirates having worked for many days to prepare the food and venue. The Heart pirates had brought the drinks that very morning, and the combined force of their crew musicians were now filling the warm evening air with music and song.

Brook and Shachi were keeping spirits up with a combination of violin and flute, assisted by the surprisingly percussion-skilled Killer. Nami’s laugh rung out in the evening as she and Zoro matched drink for drink, lesser mortals falling beside them. Luffy and Ikkaku were dancing around; Kid was busy trying to chat up Robin; and Usopp, Chopper, and Franky were constructing the islands largest sandcastle.

A rare smile graced Law’s lips as he regarded the scene.

As Nami got up from the sand and made her way towards the food table, he intercepted her path.

“No time to congratulate the winner, miss navigator?” he asked, matching his pace to hers.

She snorted, throwing him a wry side-eye as they neared the house outside of which the feast was laid out.

“Aren’t we all winners here today, Traffy-kun,” she smirked as he grimaced at the detested nickname. “No individuals in an alliance, after all.”

“Say whatever you like, Nami-ya, but I’m still the winner,” the dark doctor smirked as he captured her wrist and dragged her around the corner. A half-smile turned the corner of her mouth up, as her eyes sparkled at him, her arms coming up to rest on his shoulders.

“Whatever do you mean, Captain Law?” she purred, drawing him a breath closer, enjoying the way his throat worked at her provocation.

“Well, there’s this navigator that caught my eye,” he answered, hands drawing lazy circles on her hips. “Smart, beautiful, absolutely filthy mouth. Perfect package, I’d say.”

“I’ll let Bepo know you think so highly of him.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” he growled, tightening his grip on her waist. “He’s an innocent angel.”

“I know,” Nami answered, smirk softening to a smile, her hands rubbing Law’s neck. “He’s a dear. Although I’m quite sure I saw him kick a Beast pirate straight into the churning waters around Onigashima, so how pure his innocence is, could be debatable.”

“He’s more innocent than you, at least,” Law smirked, pressing hot kisses along her jaw, enjoying the little sighs that started to escape the navigator as her eyes fluttered shut and her head lolled to the side to give him better access.

“Mm, if you stop, I’ll have Bepo join the _Sunny_ for the foreseeable future and you’ll never find your way out of the harbour,” she threatened half-heartedly. “And you’d know about loss of innocence, you were there for quite a lot of the things that made me lose almost all my remaining innocence and hope in the future of mankind.”

“So, there’s still some innocence to lose?”

Nami nipped at his lower lip, her hands roaming over his back, “I could show you a thing or two on the Sunny, if you’d be up for it?“

And at that precise moment, the sky opened up and flooded the party.

-_-_-

“They are both now on a diet,” Nami groused, wringing water from her shirt. “I don’t care if it was Zeus or Prometheus who started that silly game of tag. And here I thought they’d be better behaved after Big Mom’s defeat. No such luck, apparently.”

“Fufu,” Law snickered, having teleported himself to safety as soon as the downpour started and, consequently, being completely dry. “That’s what you get– HEY!”

Nami had wrapped her soaking form around him, rubbing her wet hair against his cheek.

“There you go, now you’re as wet as the rest of us,” she smiled sunnily at his thunderous expression.

“Let’s continue the party in here!” Luffy exclaimed, as he dropped the table he had been carrying inside the bar, effectively blocking the door for everyone still outside and causing a general commotion.

“Luckily, I’m especially SUUUUPER today, and got my empty orchestra in with us! There’s no room for the musicians in here, anyway,” Franky exclaimed as he brought his arms together over his head and his hair changed into a bright blue pompadour.

“What’s that?” Kid asked, taking a swig from his tankard, not seeming to care about his soaked jacket or metallic arm. That would rust before long, Nami was sure of it.

“It’s a technical system me and Usopp developed, using tone dials. Basically, we’ve recorded Brook and others as they have played songs and then you can sing along with music without the musicians. We even have a ‘microphone’, or a connected system of a mini dials that records your voice and then transmits it using–”

“But that’s boring!” Luffy exclaimed, as he popped up between Franky and Kid, munching on a piece of meat. “The best part is dancing with the musicians!”

“That’s true,” Franky conceded, still tinkering with the mechanics. “But here we don’t have the room for that, so we’ll have to do with this. I think I’ll call it… EmO, for ‘empty orchestra’.”

“How about ‘karaoke’?” Zoro asked as he passed by, carrying the last seven barrels of sake. “That means ‘empty orchestra’ in Wano, and not like something Trafalgar would wear,” he continued, smirking at the glowering captain who was still busy trying to escape Nami’s clutches.

He wasn’t trying very hard, but it was the principle of the thing, damnit.

“As we’re celebrating our success in Wano, it would be a fitting tribute to the place,” Zoro continued, dumping the barrels beside the table Luffy had left in front of the door.

Before long, the partygoers saw the potential of Franky’s invention, and a que began to form. Usopp performed a long piece about a battle at some place called Benburb, while Kid belted out a song about tigers’ eyes and how thrilling fights are. Ikkaku got the crowd jumping with an energetic ditty about narwhals and Killer surprised everyone with an amazing tenor and his choice of tune; a fast-paced song about how he was still standing.

Nami was quiet as she perused the booklet with all the songs available in Franky’s mechanical masterpiece, Clione and Shachi doing a duet on the stage. Suddenly her eyes lit up, as she spied a familiar name. That would be just the thing…

Sanji was just finishing his number, a song about how he didn’t have any regrets, as she gave her choice to Franky. A boisterous round of applause broke out as the blond took a sweeping bow, microphone in hand.

“Next up; miss Nami is going to sing a well-known winner from her home country for a very special someone in the audience today!” Franky called out as he looked for the right dial to slot into the machine.

Nami rose with a smirk on her lips, sashaying towards the stage to the accompaniment of wolf-whistles from the Kid pirates and floating hearts from Sanji. Law regarded the scene with suspiciously narrowed eyes. The woman had been suspiciously silent during the last half-hour; never a good sign.

Luffy grinned, wrapping his arm around the taller man’s shoulders, effectively pinning him in place.

“This’ll be good! Nami’s amazing!”

“The who– what was the song?”

Zoro just shook his head, taking a swig from his jug. “If you have to ask, you don’t know, and if you don’t know, you’ll find out.”

“I wish Nami-swan would sing for me,” Sanji sighed, dark clouds gathering over his head as he stared wistfully at the redhead readying herself at the stage.

More whistles could be heard from the motley crew as Nami grabbed the mic. A heavy feeling settled in Law’s stomach, like a lead balloon. His intuition had been correct; nothing good would surely come from this.

Suddenly guitars and trumpets rang out and Nami struck a pose.

And Law knew his fate was sealed.

“My my! At Waterloo Napoleon did surrender–”

Law groaned, burying his head in his hands, as Luffy laughed out loud and slapped him on the back.

He knew what she was referencing. Although he didn’t know that a song apparently existed about it.

As the battle between the Beast Pirates, Big Mom, and the Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance was raging on, Big Mom had cornered Nami. The yonko held a special grudge against the navigator, as she had managed to snatch first Zeus and then Prometheus from the fearsome pirate, and she had sworn to get her homies back. Unfortunately for Nami, she still had her last homie, the sword-hat Napoleon, on her. It was pure luck that Law had managed to be in the right place at the right time and fight of the yonko, breaking Napoleon at the same time.

He was brought back to the present by her strong voice, thundering through the bar.

“–and I have met my destiny in quite a similar way. The history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself–”

Law couldn’t but admire the navigator, fire in her hair and steel in her eyes. She handled the _Thousand Sunny_ and its rambunctious crew expertly and her drive to finish the Map of the World was commendable as well as practical. Her energy seemed to be limitless as she scoured defeated enemy ships for treasure and as she pored over cartography books. She never gave up, either on hard bargains when they offloaded their loot, or when in defence of her friends. She was witty and pretty and smart.

She was, in short, amazing.

And he was the luckiest man in the room: for some reason, she had decided that he was worthy of her time.

Nami stepped down from the stage as the chorus started, the limelight following her every move.

“– My my! I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger–“

Although she still surprised him. As with this stunt right here.

“What is this even?” he asked Zoro, who was leaning back beside him, enjoying both his discomfort and the sake in his hand. The swordsman shrugged.

“It’s some group from Oykot Kingdom that she found when she was researching her past.”

“They have such great songs!” Luffy butted in. “I really like the one about voodoo!”

“Fufu, it’s not ‘voodoo’,” Robin interjected with a smile. “It’s ‘voulez-vous’.”

“I don’t mind if you don’t,” Sanji said, hearts in his eyes as he leaned towards the archaeologist.

“What does that mean? I’ve asked before, but–” Chopper asked, munching on some peanuts.

“–Waterloo! Couldn't escape if I wanted to. Waterloo! Knowing my fate is to be with you–“

The whole crowd was by now clapping along as Nami strutted through the crowd, stopping here to sing a short duet where the lyrics suited it and there to clap along with the chorus.

Suddenly she was in front of him, haloed by the lights. She circled their table, making Sanji burst into flames with a teasing smile at ‘how could I ever refuse’ and Ikkaku burst out laughing at a quick lap dance at ‘I feel like I win when I lose’. Zoro got a pat on the head and Luffy a grin, while Robin and Franky nodded along to the music, Chopper sitting starry eyed on the table.

Then she was in front of him again, her warm hand brushing his shoulder.

“–Waterloo! Promise to love you for ever more–“

He felt his hat disappear as her fingers carded through his hair, voice rising in a crescendo. Usually he’d object, but her swaying arse was at an appropriate height for him to get an eyeful and her shorts were framing her long legs enticingly.

And she was apparently singing a love song.

To him.

A very upbeat, catchy love song, but a love song nonetheless.

“–Waterloo couldn't escape if I wanted to–“

And then she was in his lap, wrapping one hand behind his head as the other held the microphone, her eyes sparkling merrily.

“Waterloo! Finally facing my Waterloo!”

The whole bar broke out in thunderous applause as she dropped the microphone and captured his lips in a heated kiss, his hands tangling in her hair.

The noise quieted down as the next singer was announced and the general attention was once again directed towards the stage.

Their respective crews were already used to their liaison and left them alone after managing to get Sanji to calm down enough.

“Really, Nami-ya,” he stated with a deadpan expression when they finally broke apart.

“I feel like I win when I lose myself in you,” she smiled softly up at him, wrapping both arms around his neck. He shook his head at that, gathering her against him in a tight hug.

“You are the cheesiest person I know, Nami-ya.”

“Good thing that you like cheese, then.”

“You’re impossible.”

“You have to decide. Am I cheesy or impossible?”

“You’re impossibly cheesy.”

“I might be cheesy, but I think you’re really grate,” the fiery navigator winked at the groaning Heart pirate.

“You’re not going to stop with the puns, are you?” he sighed. “Just because you committed the perfect crime by stealing my heart and I’m now stuck with you and your puns.”

“Says the man who thought it was a good idea to profess his love by saying saying ‘olive you’ and offering me a jar of olives. In a picnic basket. With a bottle of champagne. And his heart. His actual, beating heart. With a bow on top.”

“It was a success.”

“If you count a smack on the head as success, then sure.”

“I was referencing what came after,” Law smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. Nami laughed, tightening her grip on him as she rolled her eyes, smile on her lips.

“That was a very vigorous workout, but it would have been better if we wouldn’t have rolled over the picnic basket…”

His smirk softened into a smile.

“Should I take this to be your olive jar?”

Nami smiled back at him, playing with the hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Well, it’s my destiny, isn’t it? Can’t escape it even if I wanted to.”

“Knowing my fate is to be with you,” he concluded, a warm fluttering in his heart as he kissed her again.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried writing something dark and ominous.
> 
> But no.
> 
> Instead you get ABBA. And impromptu karaoke. And Waterloo. Because Nami would totally sing that to Law.
> 
> AND I AM NOT EVEN SORRY.


End file.
